Like millions of others, I took part in the Olympic sport of ‘applying for tickets’ last month. My Dad had also called me up, asking for help navigating the Mensa-esque digital maze that was the application process, and I duly popped over to assist.
I explained there was going to be insane levels of interest in certain events, and that he’d never have a hope in hell of getting anything involving Usain Bolt or a bicycle. Avoid those both like the plague, I said. If you want to experience the Olympics, go for something left field, was the advice.
Two tickets for the synchronised swimming heats were bid for – still in shock on the choice, Dad – and the wait began. In the meantime, I went against my own advice and bid for a pair of tickets for my wife and I to go to the 200m final – expecting zilch in return.
The deadline passes and it’s clear that Dad has failed in his bid to watch the worst Olympic sport that there is (apologies to all you coordinated swimmers out there, but it’s not a sport). He’s understandably a little disappointed, and I explain there was just so much interest that it was a long shot at best he’d get them.
A few days later, a rather sheepish Lord Coe comes out and apologises to all those who were unsuccessful. He then goes on to say that if those unlucky in the process wanted to experience the Olympics, they could now bid for the thousands of tickets still available for events like … the bloody synchronised swimming!
Five minutes after the press conference, the phone rings. It’s Dad. “I don’t understand. I know you think it’s hilarious that I wanted to go to the synchronised swimming but, that aside, I bid for tickets and I didn’t get them, yet there are tickets available. Why?”
Well I had to admit defeat. I don’t know why either. Why doesn’t someone who bid for tickets that are still available, not get them? It’s madness. It’s also a PR disaster, and only going to get worse and worse. Once the media have their claws in, they rarely relent – and they’ve got them in deep this time.
And to make matters worse, I’ve got to tell my Dad that I got tickets to watch Usain Bolt in the 200m final. Thank god he’s not doing it on a bike.
